mark Twain Fleas Congress Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman knows. Illustration from AMERICAN EXAMINER, 1910 from the Dave Thomson collection[/caption] – What Is Man? …the smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes. – Letter fragment, 1891 Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself. – Mark Twain, a Biography Congressman is the trivialist distinction for a full grown man. – Notebook #14, Nov. 1877 – July 1878 All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity. – Mark Twain’s Autobiography; also in Mark Twain in Eruption The lightning there is peculiar; it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn’t leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether–Well, you’d think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there. – Mark Twain’s Speeches, “The Weather” It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress. – Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar It is the foreign element that commits our crimes. There is no native criminal class except Congress. – More Maxims of Mark, Johnson, 1927 Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues. – Notebook, 1868 …I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman. – “Foster’s Case,” New York Tribune, 10 March 1873 A man with a new idea is a crank — until the idea succeeds.]]>

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